After Vacation Blues

About a week after getting home from our Caribbean cruise, I woke up Tuesday morning thinking it was Sunday, and I was late to breakfast and meeting my wife and friends on The Lido Deck. I was so disoriented and fuzzy I had no idea what was going on. I went back to bed for another hour, hoping I'd feel better.

No such luck. I woke up with a wicked headache. When that happens, the only thing that works is Nurtec ODT. I usually go to the gym on Tuesday, but this day it wasn't happening. I didn't have the strength for it, or for that matter the will to do much of anything. 

I texted my new friend Dorothy, thinking that she would find it funny, that I thought I was still on the ship. She agreed that she would also like to be at the buffet breakfast.

Being retired, I don't have to go to work that day after coming back from vacation. I had that happen to me to many times, and I vowed it would never happen again. 

After our honeymoon in 1992, I went to work the next day, and certainly didn't want to be there. I was sleepy and lethargic the entire day. After that, I always took an extra day off so I didn't have to return the next day. 

I mean, who would want to go to work after seeing a Caribbean sunset like that?

The few days that followed coming home involved to many doctor's appointments, putting away the outdoor furniture into the garage, tidying up the lawn, shutting down the sprinkler system and catching up on some much needed errands.

Vacation withdrawal is a known thing, and now I want to make plans to go on another cruise with our friends next year. 

Before we went away, a postcard came in the mail offering "A FREE CRUISE, AIRFARE AND HOTEL!" I was skeptical as I always am, but didn't do anything before we went away. My daughter called, but because her name wasn't on the postcard, they wouldn't tell her anything.

So a couple of days after we got back, I called the number, and made an appointment to join a 60-75 minute Zoom call on Wednesday, October 8 at 8:30 PM. Was I excited about a "free" vacation? Just call me Mr. Skeptical. Nothing in the world is free unless your parents give it to you, and even then there could be a catch.

So we get on the Zoom around 8:15, and we are joined in the room by 4 other couples from around the country and the facilitator. We were told that the room was going to be monitored for participation. 

At first, it's just information about what the company does. Head are nodding, hands are raised in acknowledgment to questions, and this guy from Orlando, FL keeps on talking.

Then BOOM...they want you to sign up for a vacation membership! It starts at $9,999 with a $249 start up fee, and then a $199 a year membership fee. 

DEAD FREAKIN' SILENCE IN THE ROOM. DEAD.

Then he says there's good news, that the first 3 couples that raise their hands, get a $3000 discount! 

AGAIN...DEAD FREAKIN' SILENCE. No one raised their hands. We are then handed off to another salesman in another room. 

At first, Daryl seems really nice, going over the benefits of the membership, etc. We keep saying NO. At this point we are over 2 HOURS into this and are dead tired. Daryl then drops it from $6,999 to $4,999, and finally to $3,499 with no start up fee. He keeps hammering away, and I said to him, "You can't sell and salesman." He ignored me, and kept on going, until I raised my voice and said "STOP!" 

He then handed us off to the final person, Hal in Nashville, who started off with an inane story we didn't care about. I again raised my voice and said "STOP!" We said no, and nothing you are going to say will change our minds. He faked being insulted, and said if you want to leave, just hit the red button on the bottom right. 

So I said, "CYA!" and clicked out of the room. We thought that was almost as bad as the timeshare presentation we attended in Savannah, GA a number of years ago. That thing lasted over 2 hours and the kids were not happy. Heck, they promised food and there was nothing.

My wife and I thought that we wouldn't get the promised vacation certificates, but wouldn't you know it, they showed up the next day. The only thing we have to pay is fees and taxes, and I estimate that to be in the neighborhood of $1000 or so for a cruise, airfare and hotel. We'll find out once I complete it.

Lesson learned, I will never, ever fall for one of those presentations again. That's two and half hours of my life I'll never get back.

Let's face facts, wouldn't you want to be on that beach in St. Thomas rather than where you are now or in a stupid Zoom meeting?